_______

 

[מיוחד לרגעי דכאון] איך מתמודדים עם דכאון ותסכול כשתהליך הדיאטה נכשל – הנוסחה האישית שלי

"ג'ניה, אם הייתה תחרות אושר עולמית, היית זוכה בה… "
משפט שאני שומע המון מהחברים שלי. אז איך אני יכול לתת לך הכוונה שתעזור לך לצאת ממצבי הדיכאון שתוקפים אותנו שוב ושוב? כי פשוט שמתי לב, שהמון פעמים רגע לפני שאני נכנס למצב 'דיכאון' אני עושה דברים מאוד ספיציפים שמונעים ממני להשאב אליו.

זה לא שנולדתי אדם שמח.

עד הצבא היו לי המון רגעי דכאון, ואפילו… ונראה לי שזאת הפעם הראשונה שאני אומר את זה, כתבתי 'מכתב פרידה' אי שם בגיל 18 ממש כשהתגייסתי. (הדחקתי את זה, אז הזיכרון הזה מאוד מעורפל במוח שלי)

 

משפט שאני ממש אוהב (של דן סליבן, מנטור להמון אנשים מובילים בעולם..):

"הבעיה היא לא הבעיה. הבעיה היא מה שאתה עושה מהבעיה"


בכל פעם שרגעי דיכאון דופקים לי על הדלת אני תמיד מבקש מהם להזדהות . . . 
ואם הם לא עושים את זה? אני חוקר אותם. שוב ושוב עד שאני מגלה את 'הפרצוף האמיתי' של הדיכאון הנוכחי . . .

האם זו בדידות? חשש כלשהו? רצון לאהבה? בעיה בריאותית? בעיה חברתית?

אני אף פעם לא קורא לזה ' דיכאון'. זה שם כללי ושלילי מדי, שקשה מאוד לעבוד איתו. נכון? כשאנחנו אומרים דיכאון, ישר עולה קונוטציה של מחלה שאין לה תרופה, ואנחנו מקבלים אותה . . .

השלב הבא? זה להכיר את ארבעת גלולות החיים:

 

  1. בריאות
  2. עושר
  3. זוגיות (כולל אהבה ומצב חברתי)
  4. אושר
pllar1
ארבעת הגלולות לחיים מאושרים…

לרוב כל מקור הבעיות שלנו יגיעו מאחת הגלולות האלה… ב- 60 שניות אני עובר על כל אחת מהן ורושם מה הדבר האחד שאני יכול לעשות במיידית, לא עכשיו, לא עוד שעה, אלא עכשיו… בשביל לשפר כל אחת מהן.

אגב, אם תדאגי ל- 3 הגלולות הראשונות (בריאות, עושר וזוגיות…) אז הגלולה הרביעית כבר תגיעה ככל הנראה בפני עצמה.

אז למשל:

  • ישר אני יוצא להליכה של 30 דק'
  • כותב 5 דרכים שבהן אני יכול להרוויח עוד x כסף (לכל אחד יש את המספר שמעניין אותו)
  • שולח זר פרחים לאמא (אם זה לא ביום הולדת שלה? היא תהיה הרבה יותר מאושרת… אגב) או לאישה, לדוגמא
  • יוצא לטיול עם הכלב

בדרך כלל רק הפעולות האלה עוזרות לי לא להכנס ל'מצב'… אבל אם כבר נכנסתי? הן סוג של מפחיתות את רמות הדיכאון ב-50%, בערך. עכשיו, אני בודק את הנושא הזה המון זמן. קורא. מדבר עם אנשים שיש להם דכאונות יומיים… ואצל חלק גדול מהם?

יש טריגר שמפעיל את הדיכאון.

 

(אצל כולם יש טריגר, טריגר שהמון פעמים אשכרה משחרר כימיקלים במוח, ובגלל זה המון אנשים גם משתמשים בתורפות, אז אצל כולם יש טריגר רק לא כולם מצליחים לעלות על הטריגר הזה) המטרה שלך היא למצוא את הטריגר הזה.

יש 2 סוגי טריגרים:

חיצוני: (התראה של סמס, רעש מסויים, מוזיקה, טלפון, מילה ספיציפית וכו')
פנימי: (הרגשה של בדידות, פחד, חשיבה על העתיד, חשיבה על נושא ספיציפי וכו')

זהי את טריגר הדיכאון

 

ונסי להוריד אותו או את הפעולה שאת עושה
אחרי הטריגר.

לדוגמא:

טריגר חיצוני: רטט של טלפון
פעולה: לקיחת הטלפון ובזבוז של שעות בתוך המסך
תחשבי על זה ככה:

רגעי הדיכאון… או מעכשיו, 'הימים הפחות טובים' יגיעו בכל מקרה . . . השאלה היא פשוטה, איך אנחנו מתכוננים אליהם, וכן, אפשר להתכונן כמו שאת רואה. נכון? את צריכה שיהיה לך סט כלים להתמודדות עם המצבים האלה. אבל …

וזה הדבר הקריטי . . . אז תתרכזי:
את חייבת להכין את הסט כלים הזה מראש. כי ברגע שנכנסת למצב הרוח השלילי? קשה מאוד לפעול.

 

אוהבת לזלול 'מידע'?
אוהבת לזלול 'מידע' אוהבת ספרים? לחצי כאן


אישית אני מכיר לא מעט אנשים שנכנסים לדכאון על בסיס קבוע. אני מכיר לא מעט אנשים 
שאפילו התאבדו כי זה נושא שכמעט ולא מדברים עליו… אבל אלוהים . . .

התחושות השליליות האלה?

זה כל כך הגיוני שיהיו לך אותן. המוח שלנו מתוכנת 'לחשוב' שלילי, כי זה ברמת העיקרון זה מה שהשאיר אותו חי בעבר "אם לא יהיה לי אוכל עכשיו, אני וכל המשפחה שלי ימותו"

אז אני רוצה לתת לך דרך פעולה שתעזור לך ואז לתת לך את ה'נוסחה' שלי לאושר. עכשיו תראי, אני כותב את השורות האלה מבלי לחשוב לשנייה אחת על כל שורה, למה?

כי זה פוסט שיושב לי כבר שנים בתוך הראש, ועכשיו אני פשוט 'מקיא' אותו
על דף אינטרנטי.

אמצו כלב: ג'ניה ונפי
אמצו כלב: ג'ניה ונפי

 

זה מה שיעזור לך לא להכנס לדכאון (או להוריד אותו לפחות ב- 50%):

 

  1. פעילות גופנית, אלוהים… פעילות גופנית!

    מפרישה הורמונים שנחשבים לסוג של 'לוחמים' בתחושות השליליות,
    כמו דופמין (אחד הכימיקלים שיוצר אצלינו אושר.כשיש מחסור בדופמין אנחנו נרגשים חסרי תועלת, חוסר עניין, עייפות, דכאונות
    חוסר חשק ועוד מילים מפחידות). הליכה, אימון במכון הכושר, ריצה, שחייה, ריקוד, כל פעילות שמזיזה את הגוף תעשה את העבודה בצורה מדהימה(יש לי חבר טוב עם נטייה רצינית לדכאונות, בכל פעם שהוא מפסיק להתאמן הוא נכנס למצבים האלה באופן כמעט יומיומי, כשהוא חוזר להתאמן? הוא יכול להיות האדם המאושר על כדור הארץ במשך חודשים, מבלי להכנס לדכאון… פשוט מדהים)

     

  2. אמצו כלב.

    אין לי הסבר מדעי לזה. תאי שינה… ומשנה לי את החיים, כל יום, מחדש. האושר הזה שהוא מפגין בכל פעם שהוא רואה אותי…

    גם אם יצאתי מהבית לפני 5 דק' וחזרתי כי שחכתי משהו? פשוט 'מזמין' אושר. פשוט בכל פעם שהדכאון דופק על הדלת שלי… אני משחק עם הכלב, הולך איתו לים לכמה דק', או מתעסק איתו…

    זה פשוט מחזיר לי את החיוך על הפנים. זה עובד כמו קסם. כמו קסם!

     

  3. נתקו את הטלפון הארור.

    עכשיו, חשוב להבין… הכוונה היא לא ל"אני בדיכאון, לא רוצה לשמוע מאף אחד" הניתוק טלפון מגיע ממקום אחר. מאוד קל לנו להכנס לפייסבוק, לאינסטגרם, למייל, לynet ופשוט לגלול ולהעביר שעות, ימים, שבועות ואפילו יותר…אבל זו בריחה (ולרוב היא לא נחוצה). נתקי את הטלפון,תפסיקי להתעסק בו למשך יום אחד בלבד. 24 שעות. (אם את חוששת שאנשים יתחילו לפחד עלייך…אז פשוט תרשמי הודעה להורים, חברים קרובים ש'הטלפון נדפק והוא יחזור מחר מהתיקון)אני שומע אותך עד לכאן."אבל מה אם ייקרה משהו למישהו…" אין לי תשובה טובה להתנגדות הזאת, אבל תחשבי מתי בפעם האחרונה קיבלת טלפון של חיים ומוות. חשבת?יופי. הבנת את התשובה. 80% מהיום הטלפון שלי כבוי. (עושה פלאים לחיים שלי).  חוץ מה- 80% האלה? יש לי יום בשבוע שאני פשוט משאיר אותו סגור ומרחיק אותו ממני.

  4. אנחנו 'חיות חברתיות', תדאגי להיות בחברה.
    העצה הזאת תהיה טובה ל-95% מהאנשים. יש אנשים שיכולים 'לסדר' את הכימיקלים השליליים במוח שלהם, לבד. מבלי 'עזרה' חיצונית… אבל הם מועטים. מאוד מועטים.רוב האנשים כן ייצטרכו להיות בחברהשל אנשים. (ממליץ לך על הסופר social) שמראה עד כמה אנחנו יצורים חברתיים, וזאת הסיבה ששרדנו עד עכשיו… וזאת הסיבה שהמוח שלנו חייב את סביבת האנשים, לא רק בשיבל לשרוד, אלא גם בשביל לשגשג.
  5. תפסיקי לראות חדשות. ברצינות.
    החדשות זה גוף כלכלי. והמטרה שלו היא אחת: רייטינג. מה שיימשוך יותר מפרסמים ויכניס יותר כסף לערוץ. "אבל איך אדע מה קורה בארץ שלי" אם תגיעה סופה או במקרה שלנו.. טילים, את תדעי על זה, מבטיח.
    אבל תעשי הכל בשביל להרחיק את המוח שלך ממקומות שמשדרים כל הזמן דברים שליליים. שימי לב בחדשות, ה 4-5 האייטמים הראשונים יהיו 'שליליים'. אל תאמיני לי, תבדקי אותי, הערב. . .חשבת על זה פעם?למה זה ככה? האם באמת המצב במדינה שלנו כל כך גרוע? זה לא העניין. כי הם היו יכולים לפתו ב- 5 אייטמים שאומרים: דנית הצילה חתול מעץ בוער… שלומי עזר לקשישה לעבור את הכביש… ג'ניה תרם כמה מאות שקלים לעמותת כלבים נזקקים… וכו' וכו'.  אבל הם לא מתחילים את החדשות לעולם ככה. נכון? למה? כי שליליות מוכרת. היא מושכת יותר. תתרחקי מזה.
  6. אנשים שליליים, הם יוצר הדיכאון מספר 1..
    כן, בהמשך לסעיף הקודם, אנשים שליליים, נו אלה שכל הזמן אומרים לך יקר כאן, הממשלה חרא, החברות רמאיות, בעלי העסקים נוכלים, אי אפשר לחיות פה… וכו' וכו'… כל אותם האנשים השליליים? הם שואבים אנרגיה. וכששואבים לך את האנרגיה, זה מאוד קל להכנס לדיכאון. תתרחקי מהאנשים האלה וחפשי את החיוביים, הם ישימו לך חיוך על הפנים. מבטיח
  7. ללמוד משהו חדש, ועכשיו, ב- 60 דק' הקרובות.
    יש מצב שזה אחד הטובים שלי ליציאה כמעט מיידית מדיכאון. אין לי הסבר מדעי לזה. אין לי הסבר הגיוני לזה, אבל בכל פעם שאני רק חושב על להכנס לדיכאון, אני הולך ללמוד משהו חדש…

    בין אם זה מספר, בין אם זה מיוטיוב, מקורס… אני פשוט מקבל בעיטה של אנרגיה. נסי אותי. האתגר: זה להכין את המידע שחשוב לך ללמוד, מראש… כי ברגע שנכנסים ל'יום רע' אין יותר מדי כוח לזוז, לחפש ולעשות דברים אקטיבים, אז אם זה יהיה לך מוכן מראש, הצלחת 🙂

  8. הדרך הכי טובה לאושר… היא לגרום לאושר לאדם אחר
    יש שיגידו שזה קצת פלצני, אבל פאק היט… זה כל כך נכון. לתרום, להתנדב, או סתם לעזור לקשישה עם הקניות… זה פשוט מקפיץ את רמות האושר ומוריד את רמות הדיכאון.

    "בסופו של דבר כולנו אינטרסנטים, אבל אם כבר להיות אינטרסנט, עדיף לעשות את זה בדרך החכמה… והיא לעזור לאחרים להשיג את האושר, וככה גם לעזור לעצמינו, ולא להפך" – נראה לי צ'ארלס דארווין אמר את זה(אל תתפסי אותי במילה חח)


טוב . . . יש עוד שיטות, אבל אני ממליץ לך להתחיל מאלה.
ומילה חשובה לסיום, זו הנוסחה שלי לאושר…

נכון יש את המשפט של להסתכל על חצי הכוס המלאה? ולא על הריקה?

אני לגמרי מאמין שאת כן צריכה להסתכל על חצי הכוס הריקה, ולשאול את עצמך:
האם יש משהו שאני יכולה לעשות בשביל לשפר את המצב?

במידה וכן? תעשי אותו.
במידה ולא, זה לא רלוונטי.

לדוגמא:

לפני 5 שנים בערך הכלבה שלי, נפי… נפטרה.

יש מצב שזו הפעם הראשונה שבכיתי בחיים שלי. עכשיו, אם נקח את הסיטואציה הזאת ונסתכל עליה 'בנוסחת האושר' שלי…

האם יש משהו שאני יכול לעשות בשביל להחזיר אותה?

לא. אין סיכוי. עם כל העצב שבדבר. (ויש מלא, אני רק כותב על זה וכבר עולות לי הדמעות) אבל גם אם אהפוך עולמות, היא לא תחזור לצערי הרב… גם אם אכנס לדיכאון, גם אם אבכה, גם אם אצעק גם אם אכעס… כלום לא יעזור.

ברגע שאני מבין את זה? אין לי מה להסתכל יותר על חצי הכוס הריקה.

בואי נקח דוגמא נוספת:

הייתה תקופה שהייתי בחובות של 430 אלף ש"ח…

בואי נעביר את זה תחת 'נוסחת האושר' שלי רגע:

האם יש מה לעשות עם זה?

וודאי. בואי נחשוב ביחד, סבבה?

אפשר לקחת הלוואה.

אפשר לחשוב על 20 דרכים שיעזרו לי להחזיר את הסכומים האלה.

אפשר לדבר עם האנשים שאני חייב להם ולבקש שיידחו את מועד התשלום וכו' וכו'.

ואו.

זו הייתה כתיבה די מצמררת (אותי לפחות חח)

. . . מקווה שזה עזר לך.

אישית? כתבתי את הפוסט הזה בעיקר בשבילי, בשביל שאחזור לזה בכל פעם שאני צריך את זה, אבל לגמרי את יכולה לעשות בזה שימוש.

חשוב: אני לא רופא או 'מומחה' דיכאון… בסך הכל שיתפתי אותך מהניסיון והידע שצברתי עם השנים בתחום. יש מקרים שכן מצרכים טיפול תרופתי, ויש מקרים שלא.

כך או כך…

תמיד יותר קל לנסות לשים פלסטר על הפצע, לבד מאשר ללכת לבדוק אצל הרופא… אז את לגמרי יכולה להתחיל מהפלסטר, הוא לפעמים יכול להיות מאוד יעיל, נכון?

🙂

את מוזמנת להגיב לי למטה, אשמח לשמוע את דעתך על הנושא,
איך את מתמודדת עם רגעי משבר ו'ימים אפלים'… בטוח
שגם הטיפים שלך יעזרו לקוראות כאן (אשתדל להוסיף את הטיפים
למאמר)

אוהבת לזלול 'מידע'?
אוהבת לזלול 'מידע'?
ג'ניה רומסקי

ג'ניה רומסקי

ג'ניה רומסקי, מייסד בריאותלי - עזר למעל 17,000 נשים להשיג את המטרת החיטוב והבריאות שלהן. כתב 3 ספרי רבי מכר - דיאטת החירום, הדיאטה האחרונה והתפריט המושלם. השיטה שלו שבזכותה הגיע לערוץ 10, Ynet, דה מרקר, ישראל היום ועוד מושתת על המדע הכי מתקדם ומותאמת לגוף האישה

הצהרת אחריות: המידע באתר זה אינו מיועד או משתמע כתחליף לייעוץ, אבחון או טיפול רפואי מקצועי. כל התוכן, כולל טקסט, גרפיקה, תמונות ומידע, הכלול באתר זה או באתרים הקשורים אליו, הוא למטרות מידע כללי בלבד. בריאותלי אינה אחראית על דיוק המידע הכלול באתר אינטרנט זה או באתרים קשורים, וכל אדם מצריך התייחסות שונה, המידע באתר עשוי להשתנות ללא הודעה מוקדמת. אם את מתכוונת ליישם את המידע באתר הזה, או בכל אתר אחר ויש לך מצב רפואי מסויים, את מוזמנת להתייעץ עם הרופא המטפל שלך.

 

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